Wednesday, February 22, 2017

ND HB 1392 Bill passed the house

"Equal parenting time and residential responsibility" means each parent has the child in that parent's care for a time that is equal to or as close to fifty percent of the time as can be arranged based on the circumstances but which is not less than thirty - five percent of the time.

http://www.legis.nd.gov/assembly/65-2017/documents/17-8150-03000.pdf

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Article Links (Not FB Group)

Kristen Paasch and Christian Paasch: There’s a solution to divorce

http://pilotonline.com/opinion/columnist/guest/kristen-paasch-and-christian-paasch-there-s-a-solution-to/article_b9f0c949-7275-5fa8-a132-8c4d83ffde86.html

רב אומר שזה טובה
http://revivim.yhb.org.il/2017/02/16/%D7%A7%D7%A9%D7%A8-%D7%9C%D7%90%D7%91-%D7%92%D7%A8%D7%95%D7%A9-%D7%9E%D7%A6%D7%95%D7%95%D7%94/

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Fathers' Right FB Link and others like it

www.ilkidswin.org

Shared Parenting Illinois
www.facebook.com/sharedParenting2

Fathers' Rights
https://www.facebook.com/Fathers 4kids/

Fathers' Rights of North Dakota
https://www.facebook.com/TFRMND/

Dads Can Too (Illinois Jesse West's Organization)
https://www.facebook.com/ChildrenNeedTheirDadsToo/

Dads and Daughters
https://www.facebook.com/daddaughterforever/

Illinois Fathers
https://www.facebook.com/ILFathers/

Fathers' Rights Illinois
https://www.facebook.com/TFRMIL/

Shared Parenting Works
https://www.facebook.com/SharedParentingWorks/

WFCF
https://www.facebook.com/WisconsinFathersForChildrenAndFamilies/

Dads of Wisconsin
https://www.facebook.com/dadsofwisconsin/

Involved Fathers of Wisconsin
https://www.facebook.com/IFW4Kids/

https://www.facebook.com/TFRMIL/

Could you please post chicagoland shared parenting group info: www.meetup.com/equalParenting

Chat Conversation Start

6:14PM

Hi, I am starting a group in  chicago to promote shared parenting, will you please announce it on your page, the url is: www.meetup.com/sharedParenting  Thanks.

http://www.israelnewsagency.com/ununitednationsfreedomexpressionisraelfranklaruefatherschildrenshumanrightsdivorcecustodyjewishfamilycourtslawlegalmediawelfarenewscensorship48071211.html

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Strategy

An awesome tool for tracking bills nationally (with keyword search)

https://openstates.org/

start a site: ilkidswin.org modeled after the north dakota site:

http://ndkidswin.org/

Contact as many state reps as possible.

Find people that will go with me to the bitter end.

Mobilize forces.

Create activists.

Become an activist.

Stage rallies.

Contribute to pro 50/50 pols

Call out anti 50/50 pols

... and becoming one of these people:

https://ballotpedia.org/Influencers_in_Illinois

... also, our facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/sharedparenting2/

we will also have in person meetups (which is far more important than anything else)
https://www.meetup.com/Equal-Parenting-Time-Activism/

Friday, February 3, 2017

Jesse West Makes History in Illinois!

Let this be the crack in the levy!
The Pendulum Swingin back toward sanity
http://www.illinoishomepage.net/news/capitol-news/fathers-fight-for-50-50-custody/649309141 #JesseWest #IllinoisFathers

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Equal Parenting Time Petition - Please Sign!

Here is mine:
Pass An Equal Parenting Time Bill in Illinois

Others:

Wisconsin:
https://www.change.org/p/scott-walker-parenting-equality

Friday, January 27, 2017

Missouri Update

HB724	Swan, Kathryn		HB 724	1/25/2017 Read Second Time (H)
	1560H.01I - Establishes a rebuttable presumption that child custody arrangements that award equal parenting time are in the best interest of the child

http://www.house.mo.gov/billreport.aspx?select=xSponsorDistrict:147&sortoptions=xsponsor&year=2017&code=R

List of Pro Shared Parenting Bills in Various States (links and excerpts)

List of Pro Shared Parenting Bills in various states:
Ok, first the biggie, the one that started it all:
Arizona State Bill 1127:

http://www.azleg.gov/legtext/50leg/2r/laws/0309.pdf

The Cherry:
B. CONSISTENT WITH THE CHILD'S BEST INTERESTS IN SECTION 25-403 AND 2 SECTIONS 25-403.03, 25-403.04 AND 25-403.05, THE COURT SHALL ADOPT A 3 PARENTING PLAN THAT PROVIDES FOR BOTH PARENTS TO SHARE LEGAL DECISION-MAKING 4 REGARDING THEIR CHILD AND THAT MAXIMIZES THEIR RESPECTIVE PARENTING TIME. 5 THE COURT SHALL NOT PREFER A PARENT'S PROPOSED PLAN BECAUSE OF THE PARENT'S 6 OR CHILD'S GENDER.

.....
APPROVED BY THE GOVERNOR MAY 9, 2012. FILED IN THE OFFICE OF THE SECRETARY OF STATE MAY 10, 2012.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Missouri, Passed in 2016:
http://www.semissourian.com/story/2319344.html
Didn't find the link to the actual bill yet (it's a to do)

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Looking to get involved

How do I get involved with the shared parenting movement?
Who should I talk to ?
Are there rallies to attend?
I feel so alone and isolated. I am not allowed to talk about this anywhere.
Who can possibly help me?

List of Leading Women for Shared Parenting Members

Illinois Legislators:

Representative Mary Flowers (D)
Illinois House of Representatives
Chicago’s 31st District
http://lw4sp.org/mary-flowers

Springfield Office:

251-E Stratton Office Building

Springfield, IL 62706

(217) 782-4207

(217) 782-1130 FAX

District Office:

2525 W. 79th Street

Chicago, IL 60652

(773) 471-5200

(773) 471-1036 FAX

Email: maryeflowers@ilga.gov

Representative Monique Davis (D)
Illinois House of Representatives
Chicago’s 27th District
http://lw4sp.org/monique-davis
(She seems to have retired).

Representative Linda Chappa-Lavia
Illinois House of Representatives
Illinois’ 83rd District
http://lw4sp.org/linda-chapa-lavia

Address: 8 E Galena Blvd, Aurora, IL 60506

Phone:(630) 264-6855

Other Legislators:

Shared Parenting Works Missouri Law

Wisconsin Fathers For Children and Families:
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/WisconsinFathersForChildrenAndFamilies/?hc_ref=PAGES_TIMELINE
and the website:
http://www.wisconsinfathers.org/

Illinois Fathers (way less developed than the one in Wisconsin)
http://illinoisfathers.org/2016/11/11/nov-16th-update/

... not a "get involved item" but a curious website nevertheless:
http://www.realworlddivorce.com/ChildrenMothersFathers

... and article right here from Illinois:
Basically about a bartender who has every reason to have 50/50 but the courts are not granting it.
http://www.sj-r.com/news/20170129/groups-push-legislation-for-fathers-equality-in-court

Leslie Loftis Article - from the Federalist, April of 2016

http://thefederalist.com/2016/04/18/florida-gov-rick-scott-ignores-families-protects-disastrous-divorce-law/

By Leslie Loftis

APRIL 18, 2016

For the second time in as many years, Florida Gov. Rick Scott has vetoed popular family law reforms that would bring his state more in line with the current research on what is best for children outside of an intact family home.

The Florida legislature passed a similar bill on alimony and child custody reform two years ago. Back then, Scott vetoed the bill over the alimony provisions. Friday, he vetoed the new bill over the shared parenting provisions. In both cases, he ignored the research and the grassroots popularity that got each bill to his desk, and sided with feminists and lawyer interest groups. It is yet another practical example of the establishment versus the populace fight that is playing out in national politics (and international politics; it seems to be quite the global mood).

Permanent Alimony and Single Custody Hurt Kids

The Florida bills would have ended permanent alimony and set a premise of shared parenting, two areas of family law that have been tangled up since the 1970s. Alimony, or spousal support, fell out of favor in the aftermath of feminism’s second wave. In the early days, when feminists were trying to scare and shame women out of their homes, alimony was seen as a safety trap. Give women alimony, and they won’t get to work breaking the glass ceiling. Thus, courts stopped granting alimony.

In the resulting backlash—loss of spousal support for newly employed, divorced women seemed unfair—alimony came back into favor, but often disguised as child support. Accordingly, NOW and other feminist groups chose to support assumptions of primary maternal fitness for childcare—in divorces only. In all other instances, assuming women were best suited to childcare remained sexist. Hence, the Wednesdays and every-other-weekend and holidays for dad time with which we are all familiar.

Fatherlessness is the foundation of so many societal ills, and courts often create that fatherlessness.

What we now know, from decades of studies of Wednesdays and assorted alternates, is that those custody arrangements do not come close to the 33 percent floor of father time that the now-established research says is best for child outcomes. Fatherlessness is the foundation of so many societal ills, and courts often create that fatherlessness.

Despite the research, the primary mother care assumptions hold because without them women faced lower support payments, especially as women’s earning power increased. As with feminists’ monetary goals, family bars played along with assuming maternal custody because high-stakes custody fights are expensive and they have created an entire market of lawyers and family advisors to mediate high-conflict divorce.

Shared parenting policies tend to foster parental cooperation and reduce conflict. Divorce law has become a racket serving lawyers and vocal advocacy groups, who preserve their income streams by pretending that the large and growing body of research on the significant advantages of shared parenting to children do not exist. The family law section of the Florida Bar was so worried about the current legislation that they hired extra emergency lobbyists.

Ignorance Is Also No Excuse

For an example of such evidence-dismissing, see this editorial in Florida from Friday, asking Scott to veto the bill: “If Florida’s child custody law is not broken — and we have yet to hear anyone say it is — why is the Legislature trying to fix it by establishing a one-size-fits-all law, which is opposed by the Florida Bar, the League of Women Voters and the National Organization for Women.”

Shared parenting is far more popular with the public, than say, feminism.

Are they trying to claim ignorance by literalism? They haven’t heard the 110 world experts read the 43 peer-reviewed papers aloud. They’ve also missed that shared parenting is far more popular with the public, than say, feminism. It’s a mirror. About 70 percent of the public supports shared parenting, just as about 70 percent of the public refuses the term “feminist.” I submit the crap advocacy (see next section) like what we’ve seen in Florida is one of the reasons why.

Still, Scott cannot excusably claim ignorance on any of this. As of a few days ago, the high volume of calls was running five to one in support of signing the bill. He should know how the bills came up through the legislature—by grassroots efforts. He could have organized a task force to study the bill.

Surely they would have found the research. One hundred ten experts and 43 peer-reviewed papers on shared parenting alone are hard to hide, much less the growing studies on fatherlessness in general. David Blakenhorn’s breakout book on the topic, “Fatherless America: Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem,” is 20 years old this year. This information is not hard to find. It is simply inconvenient information for family law bars and feminists. They just ignore it.

Smearing Opponents Instead of Presenting Better Arguments

What did the bill’s opponents have to say that Scott obviously thought was so wise? On Tuesday, while his office was full of advocates supporting the bill, a Florida NOW representative went around poking some of the supporting fathers and complaining that they were being rude, declaring that now the public can see why their wives divorced them. She did not see the contractions either in the outcry should any of those men physically poke her back or in insulting divorced men when she has been divorced four times.

When the bill first passed, the “First Wives Advocacy Group” took to Facebook to accuse one of the bill’s advocates, Leading Women 4 Shared Parenting, of being a “NATIONAL HATE GROUP.” As a member of LW4SP, I quickly noted that the First Wives got our membership wrong, in one instance erroneously calling an established and respected men’s rights authority a member and taking the opportunity to suggest that he is a pedophile. No data. Just slander.

The local news preserved another telling bit of advocacy earlier this week:

‘What did the father do?’ said women’s advocate and co-founder of Families Against Court Travesties Adele Guadalupe. ‘He contributed his sperm. The mother carried the baby for nine months. The mother had the nausea and threw up, probably had to give up her job. The mother had to give birth, the mother has to breastfeed the child. All of the sudden, the mother counts for nothing and the father has a 50-percent right to this child when it’s young? It goes against nature. It goes against justice. It goes against everything we have been brought up to believe.’

The video omitted her first statement calling fathers sperm donors. That’s sexist enough. But also note how she speaks of parenting. That the question is who has “rights” to the child, not what the child has rights to. That the child is an it, not a he or she. That the mother has to work so hard bringing the child into the world that she deserves the right to the child.

Again, leaving aside the child as an object, this is a complete 180 from feminist teachings that created these family laws. Back during the divorce-rate surge, when I was being brought up to believe things, assuming mothers should get custody because they were more fit to raise children was a burden on women’s freedom and independence. But money changes things, doesn’t it?

Scott vetoed needed reforms on a Friday afternoon while making the obligatory yet empty statement about how the family law status quo is in the children’s best interests. That should trigger the BS meter of anyone who has experience with divorce law in these United States. Current family law does not serve families or children. Time and again, the research and our own experience tell us this. The grassroots—and bipartisan—desire for family law reform is high. Hence bills like the one in Florida.

Alas, when money talks, power listens.

Leslie Loftis is a lawyer turned freelance writer. She writes on feminism, law, politics, parenthood, and pop culture, particularly where they intersect. She is a founding member of the Houston Policy Forum (website coming soon) and a member of Leading Women for Shared Parenting. She currently lives in Houston with her husband and four children.

Photo Iakov Filimonov / Shutterstock

Monday, January 23, 2017

Big Shift Pushed in Custody Disputes

Some 20 states are considering changing laws to give fathers more rights to their children after divorce

ASHBY JONES

April 16, 2015 1:22 p.m. ET

210 COMMENTS

Some of the biggest battles over child custody are playing out not in courtrooms, but in statehouses.

Prompted partly by fathers concerned that men for too long have gotten short shrift in custody decisions, about 20 states are considering measures that would change the laws governing which parent gets legal and physical control of a child after a divorce or separation.

The proposals generally encourage judges to adopt custody schedules that maximize time for each parent. Some of the measures, such as those proposed in New York and Washington state, take an additional step by requiring judges to award equal time to each parent unless there is proof that such an arrangement wouldn’t be in a child’s best interests.

Critics of the bills contend that they threaten to take discretion away from judges and risk giving leverage to abusive men. They also say the laws are poorly targeted because typically the only custody cases that end up in court are ones in which former spouses are too hostile toward each other to effectively practice shared parenting anyway.

Supporters maintain that the opponents, which include many family lawyers and bar associations, are trying to keep alive an adversarial culture that leads to lengthy—and often lucrative—court battles. They say the law should better reflect recent studies that show children are better off when both parents play a meaningful role in their lives.

“If dad is subject to the typical ‘Wednesday dinner and every other weekend’ arrangement, he’s not doing the kind of parenting that benefits kids, making sure the homework is done, getting them up for school,” said Linda Nielsen, a psychology professor at Wake Forest University. In such situations, a father “is basically reduced to an uncle.”

Legal views on custody have swung considerably over the years. The “tender years” doctrine came into vogue early in the last century, said Donald Hubin, an emeritus professor of philosophy at Ohio State University who has written on parenting and parental rights. That doctrine stated a child should stay especially close to his or her mother during infancy and toddler years.

About 50 years ago, that notion gave way to the idea that custody should be decided according to a child’s best interest.

Advocates of shared parenting say the “best interests of the child” standard gives judges too much latitude to employ latent biases and unfairly encourages parents to diminish each other’s abilities in a public forum.

Statistics on shared parenting are fragmented. But several studies in recent years show that while shared parenting is becoming more popular, it is far from the norm. A 2014 study showed that the percentage of cases in Wisconsin that ended in “equal shared custody” grew from 5% in 1986 to 27% in 2008.

“The court system too often creates winners and losers out of well-intentioned parents,” said Carl Roberts, an Arvada, Colo., software salesman in the midst of a six-year custody battle involving his sons, aged 11 and 12. “The winner gets the child, and the loser often hardly gets to be a parent.”

After an initial ruling in 2009, Mr. Roberts was allowed custody of his sons every other weekend. In 2012, that time was expanded by two days a month. Earlier this month, he and his ex-wife agreed to a plan that could further increase his parenting time.

“It’s absurd that the law says nothing about the benefits of two-parent child relationships, and does nothing to encourage them,” he said.

The Colorado senate introduced a shared parenting bill in January. The measure, which Republican co-sponsor Sen. Kevin Lundberg said was prompted partly by Mr. Roberts’s pleas, requires courts to explain in writing why a custody order that “does not order substantially equal parenting time between the parties” is in the best interest of the child. The Senate unanimously passed the legislation last month and it is pending in the state House.

Joni Roberts, Mr. Roberts’s ex-wife, said the measure largely was unnecessary given that the vast majority of couples settle their custody disputes out of court. “Our situation has gone on for six years, and we reached agreements every time,” she said.

Other opponents of shared-parenting legislation reject claims that it is simply designed to protect a system that pays lawyers’ bills. They say that while role-sharing is a laudable goal for parents who can make it work, a presumption of a 50-50 split shouldn’t be baked into law.

Peter Salem, executive director of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, a Wisconsin-based nonprofit organization that studies the best ways to resolve family conflict, said such situations are highly nuanced. “It doesn’t make sense to force this on couples that really deeply don’t get along,” he said.

Some domestic violence experts fear a presumption of shared parenting will give men with histories of emotional or physical abuse more bargaining power during divorce negotiations. “You’re going to see victims pressured to cooperate with their abusers, which is completely harmful to children,” said Barry Goldstein, a domestic-violence expert who practiced family law in New York for 30 years.

Write to Ashby Jones at ashby.jones@wsj.com

Shared Parenting Illinois